Issue 115 (2013-2014)

Issue 115 (March 5, 2014)

Sidebar

SPORTS

First, the debut of phenom Thomas Higginson in his first ever JV Tennis match. Today, after school at 3:30. It will be legendary.

Then, at 7:00, the moment you have all been waiting for. Girls Basketball Semifinals vs LCC. At home in Eva May Square Garden. This is the last home basketball game in the brief wondrous life of the 2014 Dungeon Turn Up Squad, and it’s a good one. The lady ballers are charging straight into a big CIF Finals game Saturday at USD, so come out and join their legendary championship run. This game is a WHITE OUT, so you know what to do. You’re not going to remember that homework you did on a Wednesday night a month from now, but you sure as hell will remember that tight game that you went to that was off the hyphy charts. Stay in school, don’t do drugs, eat your veggies, and go to the Girls Bball game tonight.

Dungeon Spring Line

Get ready for some fresh attire that will shock the fashion world. Coming in soon to a hyph vender near you are some super tight Dungeon Baseball tees and a limited edition order of customized Dungeon Bucket Hats. We have a big shipment coming in over spring break, but contact us now to reserve your spot in line.

PDG

Go to the PDG concert Thursday, Friday, or Saturday. It is an amazing show put on by an amazing group of people, especially the seniors, and you’d be missing out on an awesome experience if you didn’t go.

From the Daily Bulletin

8^th grade girls – If you missed Mindfulness class yesterday during period X, go to make up class today in Mr. Rybak’s room (B-2b) during enrichment.

Lyrics of the Day

You can’t hold hands when they make fists

And I ain’t the first to say this

Articles

Bishop’s Legend: Dr. Hennessey   

By: Emily Gao

                History has the stigma of being a dull subject. Some argue that it’s too outdated. However, Faulkner fanatic Dr. Hennessey counters that whoever believes this “just didn’t have a good history teacher.” I had a grand old time sitting down with Dr. H herself and talking to her about her past, present and future.

After 35 years of teaching, I asked Dr. Hennessey to reflect back on her own high school days.

“Number one, I went to a segregated school. The Warren Arkansas school system didn’t start integrating till after I graduated. I saw the white colored drinking fountains. What’s really weird is that I didn’t really think about it. That’s the way things were.

I was one of the good kids.... it was a small town, so if you did anything, your parents would hear about it, so I studied and read and all. I ended up getting to work in the principal's office. That was a good kid thing. I remember being in there as a junior and watching our tattered textbooks being shipped off to the black schools and thinking, ‘there’s something wrong with this’.”

Any worries about teaching for too long?

“I don’t want to be around when people are saying ‘she’s still here?’ I always said that when one my kids came through I’d retire. But it has already happened! When grandchildren come in, perhaps that’ll be the cue to stop.”

Dr. H’s first job at Bishop’s was teaching ninth graders. Little did she know how stealthy they could be.
“One of the classes I taught was the best class I ever had. Then I had this other class...they were out of control. I had no idea about discipline. I taught in lower Cummins, you know those classrooms? One day, a couple of boys were sneaking out through the brush and leaving class! Finally one of the girls asked, ‘You do know that Bill and Joe are sneaking out of class right?’ One year I tried teaching eighth grade. It was a total disaster. They’re too squirrely!”

I’m a supernatural geek, so I had to ask her what her ideal superpower would be.

“Scary stuff. X-ray Vision! Mind reading! Actually, I wouldn’t want one. I acknowledge the possibilities, but there’s too much responsibility. Would I use it for good or evil? I’ll just pass.”

The best teaching advice she’s ever heard?

“To follow my instincts in the classroom. So I do that. I just have fun doing it, and when I don’t, I’ll quit doing it.”

Issue 114 (2013-2014)

Issue 114 (March 4, 2014)

Sidebar

TUESDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Articles

Things to Know About Pharrell Williams

By: Nessa Garcia

Pharrell Williams finally seems to be getting the recognition he deserves. A spunky 40-year old who really looks 25 (Google him—this is 100% accurate), Pharrell has been dabbling in all parts of today’s music industry. Last summer, he was responsible for and participatory in the top two songs of the season, as he is both a producer and an artist. Yet, Pharrell has even made a reputation for himself in the film industry. At the Oscars, he performed a song that he wrote for Despicable Me 2, and the song was nominated for Most Original Song. But, before I bore you with any more facts that you could easily find yourself, here’s a fangirl list of things that I think you should know about this unique figure in pop culture:

·         His style is legendary. You may think this is an insignificant detail, but Pharrell truly stands out from the rest. Most recently, he has sported a ridiculously-tall, brown Buffalo hat that he has shamelessly worn to both the Grammy’s and the Oscar’s. Already, there is a Twitter account for this hat with 22k followers. And yes, I do mean for the hat.

·         He named his son Rocket Man Williams. For any other celebrity we would have scoffed, but it’s okay because he’s Pharrell Williams.

·         His next upcoming album, entitled G I R L, is dedicated to women…in a good way. To be honest, I haven’t listened to it because it hasn’t dropped yet, but it’s most likely about his appreciation. Disclaimer: I mean all kinds of appreciation towards women. This is a pop album, people. Think Beyoncé feminism. Think Partition (NSFW, though).

·         He started a company called i am OTHER. Essentially, it just celebrates how weird we are, because we are all pretty weird. Seriously.

·         Throughout all of this, he has done random collabs with Louis Vuitton and exhibitionist artists to make pretty and artsy things. Just ‘cause he felt like it.

Well, now you know! Hopefully, with this brief collection of my favorite things about Pharrell you can take more interest in what he does later on, because right now, it’s only upwards for him. Long live Skateboard P.

A Mankey on a Typewriter

By: Austin Quinn

                Probability states that a monkey sitting at a typewriter, pecking away at the keys for an infinite amount of time, will eventually produce all of Shakespeare’s plays. Unlikely, but possible. Now imagine seventy thousand people playing Pokemon Red Version, one button at a time, and you have a real-life equivalent to the infinite monkey theorem. Except all seventy thousand struggle and bicker to control the same typewriter. Welcome to “Twitch Plays Pokemon.”

                This social phenomenon, started by an anonymous Australian programmer, manages to interpret thousands of chat comments per minute from viewers around the world as they watch the game streamed live on Twitch. Viewers type simple commands such as “left,” or “right,” and the player character, acting in real time, will take a step in that direction. With such a massive quantity of chat inputs, the player character spasms about in chaotic, random movement, constantly checking his team and inventory while stumbling into walls and over ledges. Fitting how "Twitch" hosts the stream.
                One would not expect the game to progress very far, as thousands of players must coordinate their actions to achieve simple goals. Cutting down a tree took six hours. Passing the dreaded ledge took twenty-six. Somehow, with sheer determination and relentless perseverance, the character has actually made it to Victory Road. Praise the Helix.

                What makes this social experiment such an enthralling, hilarious event worthy of the devotion and attention of thousands of viewers? Simply put, the community. The unpredictable hivemind – as the players have been deemed – have transcribed their bizarre journey into an epic tale through fan art, gifs, memes. In a way, the stream has become more of a television series than a game.

                Like American Idol or Biggest Loser or similar shows which allow the audience to vote for their favorites, Twitch Plays Pokemon has managed to involve its audience in a critical way. The viewer feels significant, and even the smallest action - pressing A, for example - makes the viewer feel included. They feel like they play a role in the evolving story, as their favorite characters - Bird Jesus, All Terrain Venomoth, the Fonz, Air Jordan, Double A Jay, and of course our Lord and Savior the Helix - progress and defeat new challenges. Like many denizens of the internet, this community adores inside jokes and nonsensical memes. Praise the Helix.

 

Issue 113 (2013-2014)

Issue 113 (March 3, 2014)

Sidebar

Winning!

Bishop’s Mock Trial reclaimed the Country Championship on Saturday, beating out 25 other teams in the tournament. They ran San Diego, and took it to the (no longer) reigning champs Torrey Pines in the finals to bring the gold back to Bishop’s.

Free Dress!?!?!?

Despite the hours of practice the Mock Trial team has put in since September, and the hours of competing they have put in over the past ten days, the team is still not allowed to have free dress on a dress day. Our uniform takes priority over everything.

Winning! Part 2!

Girls Wopo balled up like no other on Saturday, with Hurricane CIF raging overhead. In an instant classic, the ladies squashed La Jolla High in the Battle of Bunker Jill on Whipple Hill. Confirming the biblical prophecies, they ran LJ on water, and completed the 4peat in style. Major props!

Quote of the day

“The Illuminati stole my homework, so yeah. Don’t worry, I’m on it.” – Tommy “tennis” Higginson

Horrible pun of the day

What do you call a dried grape on the ceiling?

Raisin the roof!

Ninety-nine

 Articles

Spongebob CLUB!? Illuminati!?

By: Dr. Esq. Mr. Prof. Sr. Thomas Higginson

 Nearly all of Bishop’s has been covered with signs of the illuminati. I, Thomas “Tennis” Higginson, will not be a bystander of the impending takeover, so I have begun tracking down suspects and making connections. My investigations led me to an interview with president of Spongebob Club, Dan Martin, and its biggest cult follower, Marion “Nancy” Beacham.

 Incredibly, I was given a chance to sit in on the club experience--with the two other attendees. It was intriguing and often left me pondering what it meant to be a mammal, but nonetheless full of comedic value and excitement.

 Not just anyone can form a club of these proportions, so I asked President Martin, “What prompted you to found Spongebob Club?” His response was delayed and well thought out, almost as if the Illuminati were feeding him the response--he said, “One day, when I woke up, I felt a lack of something. A lack of Spongebob,” and, in addition, he agreed when I interjected, “Or lack of this simple, yet elegant humor?” A phrase only the Illuminati would agree upon. This is when my initial suspicions began to assemble.

 Enthralled, that I was onto something, I knew that Martin couldn’t be the only Illuminati spy, so I directed my next question towards Marion: “What makes you such a staunch supporter of Spongebob Club?” She responded instantaneously, as if she read my mind, and answered, “Well, I find a parallel between Spongebob and myself because we’re both kind of psychotic. So, without him, it’s kind of hard to live.” I asked her, then, if she enjoyed the insanity, and she firmly agreed.

 Though I had discovered their secret, they hadn’t yet understood I had. Thus, I continued my interview nonchalantly; trying to not give myself away.

 Yearning to know if there were any rituals to properly enjoying each episode, I asked them to discuss. Marion said that “it’s [their] two-handed tennis. You could call it two-eyed watching.” Dan agreed and added that “it’s also good to think of yourself as Spongebob.”

 Now that it was becoming more personal, I asked them to choose a favorite episode.

 Interestingly, Dan explained that it’s like trying to pick your favorite child (Idk how he knows this) in that you can make a choice, but it would be unfair to the rest, because you love them all.

 Nonetheless, they both agreed that seasons 1-3 should be considered one episode, which is better than seasons 4-9.  

 Eventually, the interview had to come to a close, so we said our goodbyes and wiped our tears. If you too want to have a next level experience, Spongebob Club is every Monday in the ground level library classroom after school. All of you should make it out at least once! Peace.

Issue 112 (2013-2014)

Issue 112 (February 28, 2014)

Sidebar

Coffee In Da House

Coffee House tonight at 5:30 pm in the Middle School meeting room! Can ADub get a heck yeah! We sure hope so! Come to Coffee House.

EXTREMELY IMPORTANT SPORTS THING!

Tomorrow is Girls’ Basketball’s officially unofficial and unofficially official Senior Night AND their CIF Quarter Final against Horizon! It’s at 7:00 and is MANDATORY. The Dungeon will be there with Hawaiian shirts and competitive zeal.

Committed to Something Approaching Almost Excellence

Colin would like everyone to know that he has done three years of Bishop’s Squash and two days of yoga.

Announcement from Dylan DeWaart

Walk for Water this Sunday from 10 am to 4 pm at Tecolote Shores Mission Bay! 3 hours of community service, free food, and free entertainment. Registration is $20 (which will go towards funding water projects in Africa). Have fun while preventing disease, empowering women, and saving the world!

DU T-SHIRTS

Are super cool and for super cool kids only and cost only $12! Profits go towards printing the end-of-year compilation.

Oscars

Are on March 2^nd! Sidebar filled!

Articles

Winter Olympics: Final Report Card       

By: Chris Halter (Team USA)

            The winter Olympics have officially ended and to go along with my article last week here is the report card for the closing ceremony and the 3 countries with the most medals. Let the judgement begin.

Closing Ceremony: A

The closing ceremony was actually quite nice. As per usual the bulk of the ceremony was taken up by more Russian propaganda, but I think we were all surprised by the self-deprecating humor the Russians employed in the ceremony - who knew Putin would be so quick to make light of the mistake in the opening ceremony. The look ahead to the next winter Olympics - taking place in South Korea -  was also quite interesting. The show stopper - and the thing that made this grade possible - was the unbelievable fireworks/ light show that capped the ceremonies; I was really impressed with the closing ceremonies and they left me with a warm feeling in my heart. Thank you Russia.

Athletics: 1st Place, Russia:  A-

Although the Olympics bring out fierce nationalism within me - it can sometimes result in cheering against certain nations... - I have to admit that the Russians had an incredible performance. They excelled in a multitude of events and although one can speculate that Putin threatened to send athletes who didn’t medal to Siberia the Ruskis put on a great show for their home crowd. They lost points though for their embarrassing performance in men’s Ice Hockey and for the supposed shenanigans in the figure skating judging. Unfortunately, I must swallow my patriotism and pride to congratulate the Russian team on a incredible performance.  
Athletics: 2nd Place, United States: B+

I give this B+ with a heavy heart; the Americans were set up to do incredibly well in this winter olympics but there were too many areas of catastrophic failure. Shaun White’s meltdown in the half-pipe was enough by itself to bring this grade down to an B, but luckily American domination in the new freestyle events salvaged a decent grade. Speed skating was another huge disappointment and I would rather not speak about either of our ice hockey teams’ performances. Highlights include women’s skeleton, men’s bobsled, and pretty much every freestyle skiing event. The most depressing thing about this Olympics was how all the commercials featured athletes favored to win medals and hardly any of them did. My advice to team USA, shake it off, the real Olympics are in Rio anyways.

Athletics: 3rd Place, Norway: IDC+

It’s the Norwegians, good for them but I couldn't honestly care less.  

Issue 111 (2013-2014)

Issue 111 (February 27, 2014)

Sidebar

Big Wednesday Recap

Girls Wopo turned up big time yesterday, picking up the Semifinal W against Cathedral. The numbers say that they will run LJ on Saturday at 5pm in a huge matchup against crosstown rivals Grom Central La Jolla High, as our girls look to once again be CIF Champions and complete the legendary 4peat. Don’t let CIF’s ridiculous $7 + entrance fees phase you. At least they’re better than College Board.

The Guys Bball season came to a close last night, marking the end of one of the more legendary eras in recorded Eva May history. Big shout out to Matt Lizanich and Jake Dempsey for doing it big for the Knights day in and day out for the past four years. We’ll miss our weekly dose of buckets.

Ladies Bball is still alive and well. Friday night is their official unofficial senior night, and it’s shaping up to be one of the hyphiest games of the year, rivaling even the Dungeon Costume Party. Friday will be known by us Bishopians, and later by epic historians, as Aloha Friday, the day that Hawaii hit La Jolla in full style. You can go tourist or you can go native, but make sure that I don’t see any yoga pants. Eva May better look like the set of Lilo and Stitch 2. Make her proud.

PS Coffee House is on Friday at 5:30, and is in no way a legitimate excuse for not attending Friday’s basketball game. Do some spoken word, and then get hyphy all you artsy people.

Articles

Oscar Predictions

By: Matthew Kerr

Best Actor in a Leading Role:

Who should win: Matthew McConaughey, Dallas Buyers Club

Who will win: Adam Sandler, Grown Ups 2

McConaughey demonstrated unnerving frailty and emotional complexity in his stunning transformation into the AIDS-diagnosed Ron Woodroof. However, the Academy has always possessed a major, unfair bias for fart jokes and humor regarding deer urine. Adam Sandler “portrays the ultimate depth in realism of humanity with nuance, grace, and subtlety”- Rolling Stone. He has this one in the bag.

Best Actress in a Leading Role:

Who should win: Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine

Who will win: Avril Lavigne, the music video for her song “Girlfriend” that came out in 2007

While Cate Blanchett delivered a layered, powerhouse performance as the anxiety-stricken Jasmine, Avril Lavigne has proved herself to be the most relevant celebrity of our generation. Everywhere you go: “Did you hear about what Avril Lavigne did?” In the music video for “Girlfriend,” said to be the greatest song of all time, she “channels legendary actresses such as Bette Davis and Audrey Hepburn, and proves to be better than both of them combined.”-Vanity Fair

Best Director:

Who should win: Alfonso Cuáron, Gravity

Who will win: Everybody involved on the show “Pretty Little Liars”

Alfonso Cuáron brought new and inventive technology to the production of Gravity, presenting audiences a visually spectacular thrill ride with heart. But the people involved on ABC Family’s Pretty Little Liars deliver nothing short of masterful suspense week after week. “It has been like four years and we still don’t know who the f*** ‘A’ is,” says acclaimed actor Daniel Day Lewis. “That’s awesome.”

Best Original Screenplay:

Who should win: Spike Jonze, Her

Who will win: Kim Kardashian, Every Tweet on Her Account @KimKardashian

Spike Jonzes’ screenplay for Her was a wonderfully written piece that took an fresh, in-depth look at modern love. However, it is obvious here that the masterful Kim Kardashian proves to be the more advanced writer in her tweets, which often regard clothing, frozen yogurt and how hard it is to get out of bed sometimes. In the twitterverse, Kim presents relatable and fascinating poetry day after day. It is clear who the Academy will pick to win that golden statue on March 1st.

Best Picture:

What should win: 12 Years a Slave

What will win: The 1998 shot-for-shot remake of Alfred Hitchcock’s ‘Psycho’

12 Years a Slave was considered a masterpiece that focused on themes such as endurance, suffering, and loss with such power and grit. Unfortunately, it won’t win though, because the Academy hates incredibly-acted period dramas. This time, the Vince Vaughn starred remake of Psycho that came out sixteen years ago has stunned audiences, and will therefore win the gold. “It’s literally the exact same thing as the unforgettable 1960 horror film Psycho,” says Entertainment Weekly. “Why wouldn’t we want more of that, in color, with B-level actors?”

This race is shaping up to be a tight one. Tune in March 1st to see who will really take home the top prizes.

Issue 110 (2013-2014)

Issue 110 (February 26, 2014)

Sidebar

BIG WEDNESDAY

Boys Basketball and Girls Water Polo both have games. 5:45 wopo, 7:00 bbal. Turn up, in regard to both spirit and attendance. #hyphy #protectevamay

2024 Olypmpics

Come on Olympic Committee, pick San Diego. Sochi didn’t even have transparent tap-water or safe buildings and you chose them. Make the right choice this time.

DU T-Shirts

We are selling t-shirts with the DU logo on them as a fundraiser for our end-of-the-year compilation. The shirts are $12. Email us your size and we will give you your order at school expecting your $12.

COFFEE HOUSE!!!

Come see all of your friends’ hidden and not-so-hidden talents this Friday at 5:30 in a location somewhere around the theater. The sign-up sheet is on the theater callboard. Steve Hinshaw is making a guest appearance. Even if that’s a lie, are you prepared to miss out on it if it’s true?

Russia

In a shocking turn of events, Vladimir Putin has been revealed to be the head of the Russian Mafia; which just so happens to be the same organization as the Russian Government. How convenient.

Tommy Higginson’s Quote of the Day

"Your papers each had the potential to be good—like how all runners at the start of a 400-yard dash have a chance of winning. The thing is that when I fired the starter pistol, a huge sinkhole opened up under the track and ate all of you."

- Adam O. Davis

Articles

Oscar Predictions

By: Greg Feiner (Expert Space-Filler)

The Oscars are this coming Sunday, and naturally you’re probably wondering what exactly the nominees are. Well, lucky for you, not only have I listed all of the nominees in all of the categories that you most likely care about (the technical categories are omitted), I have included my own unsolicited opinions on who should win (SW) and will win (WW) all of the awards (as the two often don’t coincide). Hopefully you agree with me, and if you don’t, whatever.

Best Actor

American Hustle: Christian Bale SW

Nebraska: Bruce Dern

The Wolf of Wall Street: Leonardo DiCaprio

12 Years a Slave: Chiwetel Ejiofor

Dallas Buyers Club: Matthew McConaughey WW

(Should Win but wasn’t actually nominated: All Is Lost: Robert Redford)

Best Actress

American Hustle: Amy Adams SW

Blue Jasmine: Cate Blanchett WW

Gravity: Sandra Bullock (grr…)

Philomena: Judi Dench

August: Osage County: Meryl Streep

Best Supporting Actor

Captain Phillips: Barkhad Abdi

American Hustle: Bradley Cooper

12 Years a Slave: Michael Fassbender

The Wolf of Wall Street: Jonah Hill

Dallas Buyers Club: Jared Leto WW, SW

Best Supporting Actress

Blue Jasmine: Sally Hawkins

American Hustle: Jennifer Lawrence WW

12 Years a Slave: Lupita Nyong’o

August: Osage County: Julia Roberts

Nebraska: June Squibb SW

Best Original Screenplay

American Hustle: Eric Warren Singer, David O. Russell

Blue Jasmine: Woody “Sick Bastard” Allen

Dallas Buyers Club: Craig Borten, Melisa Wallack

Her: Spike Jonze WW, SW

Best Adapted Screenplay

Before Midnight: Richard Linklater, Julie Delpy, Ethan Hawke

Captain Phillips: Billy Ray

Philomena: Steve Coogan, Jeff Pope

12 Years a Slave: John Ridley WW, SW

The Wolf of Wall Street: Terence Winter

Best Director

American Hustle, David O. Russell

Gravity, Alfonso Cuarón WW

Nebraska: Alexander Payne

12 Years a Slave: Steve McQueen

The Wolf of Wall Street: Martin Scorsese SW

Best Picture

The Wolf of Wall Street

American Hustle

Nebraska

Captain Phillips

Philomena

Dallas Buyers Club

12 Years a Slave WW

Gravity

Her SW

If Gravity wins an award from any of these categories, I will be more than a little unhappy.