Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Issue 105 (2013-2014)

Issue 105 (February 19, 2014)

Sidebar
SPOILER ALERT
Did I mention that Leo's articles contain spoilers? Because it does. I tried to black out all the big surprises (which of course will only draw your attention to them more), but just don't read this if you haven't watched House of Cards Season 2 and care about this sort of thing

Happy Wednesday
AKA Happy Pajama Day

Less Than 100 Days Left
According to Adi Chang, we have less than one hundred days left of school. For Seniors, that means less than one hundred days before no more Bishop's. So go out and try something new. Explore San Diego if you're going to be leaving it soon. Make some new friends. Talk to some old ones. Be happy. Juniors, keep on working.

Want to See Farther Without LASIK?
There's an app for that. No seriously there's an app that trains users' eyes to see farther. Some have reportedly been able to hone their vision to 20/7.5

Hot Pocket Recall
The company has pulled its product from the shelves because some of the meat contains "diseased and unsound animals." Comedian Jim Gaffigan now has enough material for another hour long stand up special.

Colin's Opinion on the Olympics
"I like the Olympics because I like seeing unshaven Scandinavian men being excited about personal achievements." Well we're happy that you're happy Colin.

Spirit Week
Orange, Power Bowl, Flashback Friday, Airband and Fun Friday



Articles

House of Cards, Take II
By Emperor Leo “Lore” Li VI

SPOILER ALERT. SPOILERS FOR H.O.C. SEASON 2 AHEAD

Perhaps some of you blindly frolicked your President’s Day Weekend away with petty things. Others might have been writing an AP Euro draft. But true Netflix disciples understood that last Friday began the epic binging of the second season of House of Cards, which follows Vice President (previously Majority Whip) Frank Underwood in his quest for supremacy in the hole that is Washington DC.
Now, middle school students turn away now; the amount of swearing, nude women, and symbolism might be too much for you to handle in your still innocent years. Yes, House of Cards continued its previously breathtaking season with the same cruelty, political maneuvering, and Kate Mara sex scenes that filled it last season. It starts just where the last episode ended, with Underwood’s Chief of Staff and bodyguard waiting for him at home. Events then start to move fast as Underwood prepares to become VP, which includes housing arrangements and killing Zoe Barnes by shoving her in front of a train [Information Redacted]
House of Cards quickly kills (metaphorically, but mostly literally) any possible challenges to Frank’s nomination still left from last season, which is a bit cheap and leaves most plots with extremely abrupt endings. (Spoilers started a while ago). It instead brings in new characters like Molly Parker’s Jackie Sharp as the new Whip and new subplots that could never actually happen (an Entitlement bill passed quickly through Congress, along with that Education bill from last season).
The only plot that remained was the billionaire (and main antagonist) Raymond Tusk, who Underwood fights basically the entire season. Once Native American casinos and money laundering comes into play, you basically lose the picture until Underwood takes the Presidency after President Walker resigns. [Information Redacted]
There are mini story arcs that include a master hacker enslaved by the FBI, along with a prostitute who finds the path to Jesus. They’re annoying, mostly because it constantly removes the focus from the main plot, but they mostly exist to support and tie up ends (or leave them hanging) of the many plots before.
Hopefully you’ve finished the season so you can go back to work, but if you haven’t, I’m sorry (not really) for the spoilers, and hope you have time to watch the show. By the way, Underwood’s bodyguard got him cufflinks for his birthday, which show his initials: “F. U.” Basically the entire attitude of the season.



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