Sidebar
Shakespeare Contest Winner
Congratulations
to Nicholas Gibbons for winning the Bishop’s Shakespeare competition!!!! When
you congratulate him, be sure to first bow or curtsey, and to address him as
“Honest Launcelot Gobbo.”
Macbeth
Go
see Macbeth this weekend and next
weekend in the theater. If you want to know the exact times, ask Laurel Styner,
who looks very fierce with black hair. You go, girl.
Refections
Come
on, guys (I’m looking at you Narrative Fiction and Poetry students) submit to
your local literary magazine at reflectionslitmagazine @gmail.com. And if you
didn’’t submit a style imitation or art profile, that’d be greaaaat.
A Message From Thomas Higginson
"I've discovered the
origins of one-handed tennis." - Mr. Davis
This isn't
even from our interview scheduled for Wednesday. More to come soon from
the world of competitive/noncompetitive action, boring/exciting nonchalant
fancy gentleman's mustaches, tennis.
Woody Allen
Since
it came to pass that my father and I were arguing over which daughter was the
one he molested and married and which was the one he only molested, I will be
boycotting his new movie, Blue Jasmine.
I suggest you do the same.
Lyrics Quiz
My
heart thumps, not from being nervous, sometimes I’m thinking God made me
special here on purpose.
Articles
Meatless Mondays? Hm…
By: Daniel Cohn
(Esteemed Guest Writer)
This is
my first (and likely my last) DU article as my fifth year at Bishop's nears a
close.
I
remember in 7th grade (possibly before Priscilla was born) that one of the
school's brightest attractions to new students was its food. Since then, I have
witnessed a number of food atrocities in my years. These include the
discontinuation of peanut butter during the middle of 7th grade for soy butter
(due to the less than 1% of the 750 person student body who have peanut
allergies), breakfast burritos after 8th grade, and Evolution Juice after 9th
("too expensive for the school").
However,
none of those food cuts compare to the abomination proposed by Ms. Priscilla
Hardianto (Class of 2018). Her idea—for the 50% of the school that does not
check their Bishop’s email—is to eliminate meat at lunch on Mondays.
In
Priscilla’s argument, she states that one gains as much valuable nutrients from
vegetables as meat and listed six athletes (two of which are race car drivers
so basically four) such as Joe Namath, Carl Lewis, and Mike Tyson, who are
"veggies". Are you really going to tell me that a human is a
vegetable? In addition, I did some research on Mike Tyson and his vegan diet.
He only became a vegan after he quit boxing.
Furthermore,
the argument claims that a meat-free lunch will not affect an athlete’s performance.
Priscilla, I would like to ask what varsity sports teams you are on and how
your game has been affected by your diet.
However,
my biggest problem with this meat-free proposal is the financial ramifications.
I believe only the reason the school has even allowed this proposal to reach
"Survey Monkey status" is because one meat-free lunch a week would
save the school a considerable amount of money. Instead of attacking the one
semi-healthy part of the Bishop's cafeteria, I propose we change the largest
problem with our diets: the extreme amounts of sugar. If we wish to make our
school a healthier environment, the school should get rid of the vending
machine completely and filter the junk out of the snack bar. Instead, the
school could possibly serve smoothies or fresh fruit. However, sadly this will
not happen as the vending machine and snack bar are money making machines. Our
health teachers tell us to watch what we eat, yet the school teases students
with unhealthy junk food. If we are going pay $32,000 in tuition, you would
think the school could buy higher quality meats (ex:organic lean meat) that
have barely any fat one day a week, which would satisfy your healthy proposal
without removing choice.
Sadly,
if this proposal passes, I will be forced to either bring a homemade meat lunch
or take up the idea Portable Grill Mondays and cook up some steaks and hot dogs
so us athletes will have something to eat.
A Fresh Kind of Hell
By: Greg
Feiner (Victim)
A
dangerous new phenomenon is spreading across America, finding its way into the
hands of our children, and destroying their lives before they even get a chance
to say no.
What
might this phenomenon be, you may ask? Is it a dangerous new drug? A new,
violent gang? No. Worse. Much, much worse.
I
am talking about Flappy Bird, an iPhone game so evil, so unbelievably
difficult, that strangers will see you screaming and swearing at your phone and
say, “Flappy Bird, huh? That’s rough. That’s real rough.”
Created
by a man named Dong Nguyen, (perhaps as a kind of revenge for the teasing he
must have received… after the incident at the park) this game is simple on the
surface; all you have to do is make a stupid, fricking bird flap its way
through some pipes. But, inexplicably, it is impossible, and the rage that
erupts after you die in this game burns hotter than Mt. Vesuvius playing Flappy
Bird.
So
if a friend is thinking about downloading Flappy Bird, discourage them, and if
they don’t listen to you, slap them, and if they still don’t listen to you,
drop their phone in a toilet. In the long run, they will thank you.
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