Sidebar
An Environmentally Friendly Apology
Gloriana Xia would like
to apologize for not mentioning her actual club name - Green Campus Initiative
- enough in her announcements. Especially during the last one. She usually
makes them up in the announcements line and sometimes forgets little details.
Welcome to Thursday
Things that are
happening on Thursday: Tree lighting ceremony! Things that are happening the day
after Thursday: Formal!
Christmas-Themed Lyrics Quiz
Fast away the old year
passes
Fa la la la la la la la
la
Hail the new ye lads
and lasses
Fa la la la la la la la
la
Sing we joyous all
together
Fa la la la la la la la
la
Heedless of the wind
and weather
Fa la la la la la la la
la
Slow Burn
Props to Ms. Caffrey
for her clever announcement dissing Dan. Significantly less props to Nessa for
acknowledging the Tower.
Non-Christmas Themed Lyrics Quiz
Through timeless words
and priceless pictures
We’ll fly like birds
not of this earth
And the tides they turn
and hearts disfigure
But that’s no concern
when we’re wounded together
Midterms
Swiggity swag, you all
got this in the bag.
NEXT TUESDAY
Wear Christmas ties,
sweaters, and socks with your dress uniform!!! Swag!!
Articles
SUN ANIMALS PART 2: SUNFISH
ARE THE ABSOLUTE WORST
By:
Colin Garon (Is not a fan of sunfish)
A few weeks ago, I wrote an
article praising sun bears for being the best creatures to walk this earth.
Today, I write an article condemning the worst animals ever: sunfish.
As you can see from the above
picture, sunflish are singularly nasty. They’re like someone stepped on a
flabby gray raisin and then added two fins at the top. This is the fish that
couldn’t get a date to fish Formal, because who would want to be seen at Formal
with a sunfish?!?! That’s right, no one. Not even you. You might think that
you’re openminded and welcoming, but you’re not. Don’t lie to yourself. If a
sunfish asked you to Formal, you would say no.
Pictured
above is a sunfish trying to get a glamor shot with a bunch of kelp. It’s not
working, because that sunfish is still ugly. Instead of saying “I am a mildly
attractive sunfish who really has his life together,” this picture screams “I
am an ugly disgusting sunfish who is ruining a picture of some pretty swaggy
kelp.” 
Things
that are wrong with this picture:
1)
There’s a lot of empty space, which is a little weird.
2)
THERE IS A SUNFISH IN THE PICTURE NO NO BAD NO
So
there you have it, kids. Sunfish are gross and terrible. They are floppy grey
vertical sea pancakes and I hate them. I’m Colin Garon, and I approve this
message.
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