Friday, December 13, 2013

Issue 73 (2013-2014)

Issue 73 (December 12, 2013)

Sidebar
Review Week
Has begun! Time to review all the work we’ve done in the first semester, and, more often than not, attack the teachers every time we are met with even the slightest hint of an assessment or assignment.

ILANA IS THE BEST
According to my calculations, Ilana has now been featured in this publication more times than several staff writers.

In Other News…
CHRISTMAS CONCERT WOOT WOOT! This weekend! Saturday and Sunday! Take some time off from studying and relax and listen to the Bishop’s Singers and Bel Canto and Women’s Chorus and Knight’s Chorus and Middle School choirs serenade you with holiday songs! Saturday at 5:00 and 7:30, Sunday at 2:00.

Lyrics Quiz (Holiday Themed!)
It’s that time of year
When the world falls in love
Every song you hear
Seems to say
Merry Christmas, may your new dreams come true

Tina Fey Quote of the Day but Also Word of the Day at the Same Time
“I was a little excited but mostly blorft. "Blorft" is an adjective I just made up that means 'Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.' I have been blorft every day for the past seven years.” 

HAVE A VERY BLORFT DAY EVERYONE
IT OK DON’T BE CRY


Articles

The Doctrine
By: Leo Li (Frighteningly Passionate)
                CONFLICT IS WHAT MAKES US IMMORTAL. We are put down in history for what we have done, not for what we aspire to do. Opposition spurs us to become stronger in our beliefs and face each other in the climax of brinksmanship, only to be appeased by compromise (or victory), waiting for another bloody battle to be recorded in the textbooks of the world.
                I write this manifesto today to address the ever-escalating conflict between the DU and the Tower. Hypocrites and traitors make up the battle lines that we have
drawn against our enemies. In our ranks hold those who believe that we may make
peace with the enemy through peace and brotherly love.
                To them I say this: how many of our brothers and sisters have fallen before
the enemy? Shall we throw away the lives that were Eamon, Jack, and Thomas,
who fought for hegemon of the DU? IT IS TERROR THAT PRODUCES THE BEST
OF US ALL. What has peace ever given the nations of the earth? It was bloodshed
that created the greatest of epics, the most famous of men. What has peace ever
accomplished, which can only boast the weakness of peoples and the cowardice of
their leaders?
                THERE CAN BE NO HERO, NO VICTOR, WITHOUT ITS OPPOSITION. Who is George Washington, without the tyranny that was the British? Who was Martin Luther, without the corrupt indulgences of the Catholic Church? THE ANSWER, MY SCHOOL, IS NOTHING. Let this escalation of conflict with the DU and the Tower reach its full potential; let it produce the greatest of writers, the mightiest of orators. May those so seek to restrain its might be pushed away and forgotten in our
memory!
                Let those who read these words seek to live by these them; make antagonism your blood, dissention your breath. IT IS BY DESTINY AND DESIGN THAT PROGRESS IS THE CHILD OF COMPETITION. Only when the ink has been exhausted and our ability put to their final test, can we say that greatness was
achieved in these fields of war.

The Great Paradox of Life
By: Ilana Stone (Is Awesome)
My Bishopian brethren and sistren, it seems we’ve been sucked into a paradoxical vortex of conflicting information. Teachers preach the indispensability of sleep, yet we’re conditioned to believe that not doing homework is the eighth deadly sin.
We go home, open the assignment page and snapThe Whip has struck again! Like a cheap infomercial, our hours of classes come with a bonus deal of hours of homework.
As we do our homework, it grows late and we reach our dilemma. Surely the teacher wouldn’t mind if we decided to rest. Incorrect! “You need to work on your time management,” your teacher says the next day.
Time management? If I wake up at 6:00 a.m. I should be asleep by 10:00 p.m. Of the sixteen conscious hours, seven belong to the administration. One hour following these seven is the drive home then, art or sports for the next hour-plus to build a resumé. Two hours with the family (a small reward for enduring yet another day without a mental breakdown). Then, check assignments. All academic classes meet tomorrow, and that should be about five hours of homework… except it’s not. For each assignment to display a student’s full potential work must be impeccable which takes even more time so much more time that none is left.  You have to go to sleep now to attain the minimum amount of sleeptime. None of my time is mine to manage.
                It’s not a life, it’s a regimen, and what’s needed isn’t time management: it’s a bucket of toxic waste to transform us into non-sleeping, workaholics. We are pressured to create masterpieces every night at the expense of our well-being (academic and physical). We are told we need sleep, but shamed when we take it. We’re trapped in a spiral with no safe escape.

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