Thursday, March 6, 2014

Issue 110 (2013-2014)

Issue 110 (February 26, 2014)

Sidebar
BIG WEDNESDAY
Boys Basketball and Girls Water Polo both have games. 5:45 wopo, 7:00 bbal. Turn up, in regard to both spirit and attendance. #hyphy #protectevamay

2024 Olypmpics
Come on Olympic Committee, pick San Diego. Sochi didn’t even have transparent tap-water or safe buildings and you chose them. Make the right choice this time.

DU T-Shirts
We are selling t-shirts with the DU logo on them as a fundraiser for our end-of-the-year compilation. The shirts are $12. Email us your size and we will give you your order at school expecting your $12.

COFFEE HOUSE!!!
Come see all of your friends’ hidden and not-so-hidden talents this Friday at 5:30 in a location somewhere around the theater. The sign-up sheet is on the theater callboard. Steve Hinshaw is making a guest appearance. Even if that’s a lie, are you prepared to miss out on it if it’s true?

Russia
In a shocking turn of events, Vladimir Putin has been revealed to be the head of the Russian Mafia; which just so happens to be the same organization as the Russian Government. How convenient.

Tommy Higginson’s Quote of the Day
"Your papers each had the potential to be good—like how all runners at the start of a 400-yard dash have a chance of winning. The thing is that when I fired the starter pistol, a huge sinkhole opened up under the track and ate all of you."
- Adam O. Davis



Articles

Oscar Predictions
By: Greg Feiner (Expert Space-Filler)

The Oscars are this coming Sunday, and naturally you’re probably wondering what exactly the nominees are. Well, lucky for you, not only have I listed all of the nominees in all of the categories that you most likely care about (the technical categories are omitted), I have included my own unsolicited opinions on who should win (SW) and will win (WW) all of the awards (as the two often don’t coincide). Hopefully you agree with me, and if you don’t, whatever.

Best Actor
American Hustle: Christian Bale SW
Nebraska: Bruce Dern
The Wolf of Wall Street: Leonardo DiCaprio
12 Years a Slave: Chiwetel Ejiofor
Dallas Buyers Club: Matthew McConaughey WW
(Should Win but wasn’t actually nominated: All Is Lost: Robert Redford)

Best Actress
American Hustle: Amy Adams SW
Blue Jasmine: Cate Blanchett WW
Gravity: Sandra Bullock (grr…)
Philomena: Judi Dench
August: Osage County: Meryl Streep

Best Supporting Actor
Captain Phillips: Barkhad Abdi
American Hustle: Bradley Cooper
12 Years a Slave: Michael Fassbender
The Wolf of Wall Street: Jonah Hill
Dallas Buyers Club: Jared Leto WW, SW

Best Supporting Actress
Blue Jasmine: Sally Hawkins
American Hustle: Jennifer Lawrence WW
12 Years a Slave: Lupita Nyong’o
August: Osage County: Julia Roberts
Nebraska: June Squibb SW

Best Original Screenplay
American Hustle: Eric Warren Singer, David O. Russell
Blue Jasmine: Woody “Sick Bastard” Allen
Dallas Buyers Club: Craig Borten, Melisa Wallack
Her: Spike Jonze WW, SW

Best Adapted Screenplay
Before Midnight: Richard Linklater, Julie Delpy, Ethan Hawke
Captain Phillips: Billy Ray
Philomena: Steve Coogan, Jeff Pope
12 Years a Slave: John Ridley WW, SW
The Wolf of Wall Street: Terence Winter

Best Director
American Hustle, David O. Russell
Gravity, Alfonso Cuarón WW
Nebraska: Alexander Payne
12 Years a Slave: Steve McQueen
The Wolf of Wall Street: Martin Scorsese SW

Best Picture
The Wolf of Wall Street
American Hustle
Nebraska
Captain Phillips
Philomena
Dallas Buyers Club
12 Years a Slave WW
Gravity
Her SW

If Gravity wins an award from any of these categories, I will be more than a little unhappy.

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