Thursday, March 6, 2014

Issue 111 (2013-2014)

Issue 111 (February 27, 2014)

Sidebar
Big Wednesday Recap

Girls Wopo turned up big time yesterday, picking up the Semifinal W against Cathedral. The numbers say that they will run LJ on Saturday at 5pm in a huge matchup against crosstown rivals Grom Central La Jolla High, as our girls look to once again be CIF Champions and complete the legendary 4peat. Don’t let CIF’s ridiculous $7 + entrance fees phase you. At least they’re better than College Board.

The Guys Bball season came to a close last night, marking the end of one of the more legendary eras in recorded Eva May history. Big shout out to Matt Lizanich and Jake Dempsey for doing it big for the Knights day in and day out for the past four years. We’ll miss our weekly dose of buckets.

Ladies Bball is still alive and well. Friday night is their official unofficial senior night, and it’s shaping up to be one of the hyphiest games of the year, rivaling even the Dungeon Costume Party. Friday will be known by us Bishopians, and later by epic historians, as Aloha Friday, the day that Hawaii hit La Jolla in full style. You can go tourist or you can go native, but make sure that I don’t see any yoga pants. Eva May better look like the set of Lilo and Stitch 2. Make her proud.
PS Coffee House is on Friday at 5:30, and is in no way a legitimate excuse for not attending Friday’s basketball game. Do some spoken word, and then get hyphy all you artsy people.

Articles

Oscar Predictions
By: Matthew Kerr

Best Actor in a Leading Role:
Who should win: Matthew McConaughey, Dallas Buyers Club
Who will win: Adam Sandler, Grown Ups 2
McConaughey demonstrated unnerving frailty and emotional complexity in his stunning transformation into the AIDS-diagnosed Ron Woodroof. However, the Academy has always possessed a major, unfair bias for fart jokes and humor regarding deer urine. Adam Sandler portrays the ultimate depth in realism of humanity with nuance, grace, and subtlety- Rolling Stone. He has this one in the bag.

Best Actress in a Leading Role:
Who should win: Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine
Who will win: Avril Lavigne, the music video for her song Girlfriend that came out in 2007
While Cate Blanchett delivered a layered, powerhouse performance as the anxiety-stricken Jasmine, Avril Lavigne has proved herself to be the most relevant celebrity of our generation. Everywhere you go: Did you hear about what Avril Lavigne did? In the music video for Girlfriend, said to be the greatest song of all time, she channels legendary actresses such as Bette Davis and Audrey Hepburn, and proves to be better than both of them combined.-Vanity Fair

Best Director:
Who should win: Alfonso Cuáron, Gravity
Who will win: Everybody involved on the show Pretty Little Liars
Alfonso Cuáron brought new and inventive technology to the production of Gravity, presenting audiences a visually spectacular thrill ride with heart. But the people involved on ABC Familys Pretty Little Liars deliver nothing short of masterful suspense week after week. It has been like four years and we still dont know who the f*** A is, says acclaimed actor Daniel Day Lewis. Thats awesome.

Best Original Screenplay:
Who should win: Spike Jonze, Her
Who will win: Kim Kardashian, Every Tweet on Her Account @KimKardashian
Spike Jonzes screenplay for Her was a wonderfully written piece that took an fresh, in-depth look at modern love. However, it is obvious here that the masterful Kim Kardashian proves to be the more advanced writer in her tweets, which often regard clothing, frozen yogurt and how hard it is to get out of bed sometimes. In the twitterverse, Kim presents relatable and fascinating poetry day after day. It is clear who the Academy will pick to win that golden statue on March 1st.

Best Picture:
What should win: 12 Years a Slave
What will win: The 1998 shot-for-shot remake of Alfred Hitchcocks Psycho
12 Years a Slave was considered a masterpiece that focused on themes such as endurance, suffering, and loss with such power and grit. Unfortunately, it wont win though, because the Academy hates incredibly-acted period dramas. This time, the Vince Vaughn starred remake of Psycho that came out sixteen years ago has stunned audiences, and will therefore win the gold. Its literally the exact same thing as the unforgettable 1960 horror film Psycho, says Entertainment Weekly. Why wouldnt we want more of that, in color, with B-level actors?

This race is shaping up to be a tight one. Tune in March 1st to see who will really take home the top prizes.













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