Sidebar
Winning!
Bishop’s
Mock Trial reclaimed the Country Championship on Saturday, beating out 25 other
teams in the tournament. They ran San Diego, and took it to the (no longer)
reigning champs Torrey Pines in the finals to bring the gold back to Bishop’s.
Free Dress!?!?!?
Despite
the hours of practice the Mock Trial team has put in since September, and the
hours of competing they have put in over the past ten days, the team is still
not allowed to have free dress on a dress day. Our uniform takes priority over
everything.
Winning! Part 2!
Girls
Wopo balled up like no other on Saturday, with Hurricane CIF raging overhead.
In an instant classic, the ladies squashed La Jolla High in the Battle of
Bunker Jill on Whipple Hill. Confirming the biblical prophecies, they ran LJ on
water, and completed the 4peat in style. Major props!
Quote of the day
“The
Illuminati stole my homework, so yeah. Don’t worry, I’m on it.” – Tommy
“tennis” Higginson
Horrible pun of the day
What
do you call a dried grape on the ceiling?
Raisin
the roof!
Ninety-nine
Articles
Spongebob CLUB!? Illuminati!?
By: Dr. Esq. Mr. Prof. Sr.
Thomas Higginson
Nearly all of Bishop’s has been covered with
signs of the illuminati. I, Thomas “Tennis” Higginson, will not be a bystander
of the impending takeover, so I have begun tracking down suspects and making
connections. My investigations led me to an interview with president of
Spongebob Club, Dan Martin, and its biggest cult follower, Marion “Nancy”
Beacham.
Incredibly, I was given a chance to sit in on
the club experience--with the two other attendees. It was intriguing and often
left me pondering what it meant to be a mammal, but nonetheless full of comedic
value and excitement.
Not just anyone can form a club of these
proportions, so I asked President Martin, “What prompted you to found Spongebob
Club?” His response was delayed and well thought out, almost as if the
Illuminati were feeding him the response--he said, “One day, when I woke up, I
felt a lack of something. A lack of Spongebob,” and, in addition, he agreed
when I interjected, “Or lack of this simple, yet elegant humor?” A phrase only
the Illuminati would agree upon. This is when my initial suspicions began to
assemble.
Enthralled, that I was onto something, I knew
that Martin couldn’t be the only Illuminati spy, so I directed my next question
towards Marion: “What makes you such a staunch supporter of Spongebob Club?”
She responded instantaneously, as if she read my mind, and answered, “Well, I
find a parallel between Spongebob and myself because we’re both kind of
psychotic. So, without him, it’s kind of hard to live.” I asked her, then, if
she enjoyed the insanity, and she firmly agreed.
Though I had discovered their secret, they
hadn’t yet understood I had. Thus, I continued my interview nonchalantly;
trying to not give myself away.
Yearning to know if there were any rituals to
properly enjoying each episode, I asked them to discuss. Marion said that “it’s
[their] two-handed tennis. You could call it two-eyed watching.” Dan agreed and
added that “it’s also good to think of yourself as Spongebob.”
Now that it was becoming more personal, I
asked them to choose a favorite episode.
Interestingly, Dan explained that it’s like
trying to pick your favorite child (Idk how he knows this) in that you can make
a choice, but it would be unfair to the rest, because you love them all.
Nonetheless, they both agreed that seasons 1-3
should be considered one episode, which is better than seasons 4-9.
Eventually, the interview had to come to a
close, so we said our goodbyes and wiped our tears. If you too want to have a
next level experience, Spongebob Club is every Monday in the ground level
library classroom after school. All of you should make it out at least once!
Peace.
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