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SENIOR
STYLE
It's fourth quarter which means there are
only so many dress uniform days left. If sporting a senior bow tie isn't on
your bucket list it should be. Or at least go for the maroon sweater vest. Now
is your time to break out of SoCal habits of sloppy dress and bust out some
preppy looks considering that's probably what you'll have to do for the next
four years.
NON
SENIOR FASHION
It's Spring in Southern California! Preppy
is for stuck up East Coasters. There's more to life than just looking really
really ridiculously good looking, and that's being casual and comfortable while
doing it. Buy one of the Dungeon bucket hats. They're available in a wide
variety of shades of white and have been spotted on several supermodels
including Jake Dempsey and Dan Forssman.
Al+ERnAT1v3 Look5
Maybe preppy doesn't sound like you and
casual seems boring. Go for an alternative style with the totally indie DU
t-shirt. It's -242% organic hemp, 517.4% bona fide hipster thread and 0% math
because you're such a rebel when you're wearing a shirt that says urinal that
you clearly don't care about percentages or logic. 189% of proceeds go to a
great cause.
IN
WORLD NEWS
The Kremlin has responded to US and EU
sanctions and travel bans on top officials and oligarchs with their own set of
sanctions and travel bans on random US politicians. Senator John McCain has
reportedly canceled his Spring Break trip to Moscow with deep sadness and
regret. Asked for comment, Russian president Vladimir Putin stated,
"Luckily I don't have to fly to the US to take over Crimea..." and
"Nana nana boo boo, I'm tougher than you you."
Articles
A Writing Tip: Avoid Clichés
Like the Plague
By Emily Gao (DU Reliable Source of Articles)
Listen, I'm going to
stop beating around the bush and cut to chase here. You may know names but you
sure as hell don’t know each of their stories. Take my word for it: You've got
to work hard and play hard. Perhaps even play harder than you work. If
you want to make a difference, you’ve got to aim high, dream big, and take a
chance. A life without risk is meaningless. No pain, no gain. No guts, no
glory. It might be a small world after all but its’ a small world full of big opportunities.
You've got to be tough as nails. Carpe diem. Apply yourself, climb the highest
mountain and tell them all to eat my dust! Aim for the stars. More importantly,
follow your heart.
Some say that if you
can't beat 'em, join 'em, but I say get a grip, get real. Just say no. Take a
chill pill. Lighten up. Chill out. Bore down. Mellow out. Cool it. Wake up and
smell the coffee, stop and smell the roses. Get with the program. Think big.
Visualize success. Go for the gusto. Grab the gold. Shoot for the moon. Put
your best foot forward, and don’t just be a chip off an ol’ block. I mean, if
you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. Make adversity your friend.
Take the good with the bad. Make the best of a bad situation. If you get
knocked down, stand back up. When you’re down and out, pull yourself up by your
bootstraps. Shake it off. Shake a stick. Get back on that horse. Take the bull
by the horns. Keep on trucking. Put your money where your mouth is because,
remember, only the strong survive. The squeaky wheel gets the grease, the early
bird gets the worm. And last but not least, you are a picture that is worth a
thousand words.
Bottom line here, what
is all comes down to is this: Don’t stop believing.
--
Be part of the better
half of the human race- exterminate clichés.
Thank you.
Why Do You Hate Us?
By Chris Halter (DU Scientist)
Many of you probably consider cross-country and
track fairly safe as far as sports go, but you’d be wrong. Each day that I run
through La Jolla I’m at risk of injury or death, not because of cardiac arrest,
or tripping a very real threat I must add - but because of the terrorists that
enjoy hunting runners.
Most days the violence
is only verbal, the occasional comment about my short shorts or about how gay
they think we are. Sorry but I wear leopard print shorts because they’re cool
and your ignorant exclamations don’t change that. However, every so often, the
attacks turn violent. Once an innocent Bishop’s girls cross country runner was
viciously mauled by a cat. I’ve heard rumors that Jill Bushman was once hit by
a car. Most recently the terrorists went after one of our young padawans; Big
Bill Worstell - A.K.A Andres - had a cup of soda thrown at him. Luckily his
lightning quick reflexes allowed him to escape the attack physically unscathed
but the psychological damage is irreversible.
In closing, I not only ask for your prayers in
this fight, but also for a monetary donation that you deem fit. Remember, just
10 cents per-month can help an ostracized runner near you and remember to
compliment a runner the next time you see one, because calling his or her
shorts gay is a homophobic cliché.
This is a message from your local run happy office
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