Sidebar
Freshmen!
We have us a healthy batch of freshmen in
today’s issue. I did not take the time out of my busy schedule to edit their
articles, so you get a dollar for every grammar mistake you can find. They have
both agreed to pay (they obviously did not read the terms and conditions of
submitting DU articles).
Bish
Bowl
As Kendrick Lamar once said, “hot sauce
all in your top ramen, ya bish.” Go to Bish Bowl and have a good time and cheer
on the football team and silly string some lady groms if you have time.
Solution
to Scheduling
Stop complaining about what you have to do
if you are a freshman because it will enrage seniors who actually have stuff to
do like apply to college and do actual homework and take actual quizzes and
learn.
Stop
being mean to Miley. She is expressing
herself in a way that she sees fit, and we should congratulate her instead of
showering insults upon her nude budy on that godamn wrecking ball.
Articles
A Solution to Scheduling
By:
Will Griffith (Freshman!)
The Academics and Athletics Departments at Bishop’s do not coordinate. During the last week of the first quarter, I was completely overloaded. I took three tests, five quizzes, and wrote a theatre review and a paper. I played seven water polo games in as many days, five of them for the San Diego JV Open at Granite Hills. During the semifinal match on Saturday morning, so many of our players were taking the PSAT that we were forced to roster a fifth grader. I’m just a freshman, and it only gets worse. In fact, most upper school students at Bishop’s often feel overscheduled. Four out of five students interviewed said they were.
This madness doesn’t have to happen.
Academics come first, but that doesn’t mean the two aspects of our lives can’t
work around each other. The various departments have meetings every Wednesday
morning to plan and discuss. It’s just like the problems with the healthcare
system. By the time you’re sixty years old, you’ve got a surgeon, a
dermatologist, a urologist, a pathologist, and a cardiologist, with X-Rays and
CT scans and Colonoscopies and MRIs, all to keep you healthy. And none of them
will talk to each other. We’ve got coaches and teachers and advisors, with
Dynacal and the Whip and the Bishop’s App, all to educate and prepare us for
college. And none of them will talk to each other.
The difference is, we can help
coordinate ourselves. We as students need to pay better attention to our
upcoming tests and games, and be proactive. We need to find a meeting time to
talk about a test before the day before, and coordinate our own schedules.
When students, teachers, and coaches
talk, we can solve the overscheduling problem at Bishop’s.
Insanity
By: Andrés Worstell
(Freshman!)
A
few years ago I was beginning sixth grade at The Bishop’s School. I was
really scared because every high schooler was a lot taller than me and I barely
knew any students. That sentiment was shared by many of my classmates.
But that’s all changed. Flash forward to the present day and the
sixth graders walk around campus like they own the place. They ride
around on their backpacks, scream at the top of their lungs whenever they want
to say something, and worst of all they don’t let me cut them during middle
school lunch. What kind of world do we live in, where 6th graders feel
superior to their high school counterparts? But it doesn’t take much sleuthing
to discover why the current sixth grade class is so confident.
The
school gave them iPads. The sixth graders are all over school playing Angry
Birds, blasting Miley Cyrus songs, taking hundreds of selfies and Skyping
friends who are within 20 feet of them. An item this cool can’t be given to practically elementary schoolers in
the expectation that they learn! Back in my day we had something called the
Leapster, which was a device that resembled a large ice pack with a screen on
it that was used for doing math problems. It was infinitely uncool and was
frowned upon by the lucky owners of Gameboys. I can understand the school
giving them Leapsters, but iPads?
I
can see it now. Pretty soon they’ll all be downloading episodes of South Park and Breaking Bad and playing Grand Theft Auto. All their fragile
minds will be warped, and the school will be to blame. Administration, act now
and you can stop the moral corruption of the sixth grade class and give those
iPads to a more worthy, mature grade. Like those Freshmen I keep hearing
about.
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