Thursday, November 21, 2013

Issue 62 (2013-2014)

Issue 62 (November 22, 2013)

Sidebar
Hyphy Saturday
Matt Cappetta went to kayak.com and changed his flights for this weekend, so he will be attending hyphy Saturday in full force. On a related note, if anyone is interested in going to formal with Matt, he is looking for a date and is down to go with basically anyone. He was going to ask a girl from La Jolla High, but some grom with a sick wetsuit tan who can’t spell snaked his wave on that one. But don't worry. He has already come to terms with the fact that his date could never live up to his younger brother's date, a super hot All-American field hockey legend

Fun Fact:
The video game character, Sonic the Hedgehog is based, in part, on Bill Clinton’s personality.

Formal Update
Thomas Higginson asked Amanda Roesser, so embarrass them if you see either of them walking around.

Blog
Remember, if you can’t find The Daily Urinal, remember to check the blog at thedailyurinal.blogspot.com, where all of the articles and sidebars from this year are. However, since this message is being delivered to people who can’t find this publication through said publication, this effort is most likely completely futile.

Folders
Also, there are four folders full of DU’s around campus.

Lyrics Quiz

Come on in, take a seat next to me, you know we got, we got what you need. We may be liars preaching to choirs, but we can, we can sell your dreams.

Articles

Perspective
By: Chris Halter (Optimist)

I have a request, this week when you're finishing the thousandth thing you did and just about to start the thousand and first: stop and think about where you are, who you’re with and how you’re feeling.
                If Bishop’s was a moving object, it would be in the same category as a jet. Life at Bishop’s happens so fast that sometimes I feel like we began to drift away and live like zombies; semi-aware of the world around us but mostly focused on one thing: success. I have no problem with the commitment to excellence students here possess, but our commitment to excellence also demands a commitment to keeping a healthy perspective on the rest of the world.
How exactly is perspective classified? Is perspective simply understanding the relative insignificance of that test, or knowing that a B+ won’t define your life? Yes, those are certainly aspects of “having perspective” but I think that the most challenging aspect of having perspective as a student is recognizing the world around you.
Understanding that there are plenty of things worse than a D on a test—and I don’t mean an F. Having perspective is understanding that, in the grand scheme of things, it could always be worse. Dr. Ginsberg focused on the idea that kids at Bishop’s need to understand that a bad grade isn’t worth getting upset about because chances are they’ll still go to a good college etcetera, etcetera. However, I think the perspective that we should focus on more is understanding that getting that D is a lot better than not going to Bishop’s. Or not going to college, or not living in the United States, or not having anything at all.
Life could be worse, drastically worse, and we need to learn that in the grand scheme of things, if our most basic needs are met, then getting upset over one grade isn’t worth it. Things can change faster than we realize—jobs can be lost, people can die—and we need to value what we have right now. Even if you have a B- in a class, value it, because tomorrow it could be a C.   

A Common App Essay
By: (Author Withheld)

Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, and family.

                Both of my parents died when I was an infant. They were murdered. They have both been dead for as long as I can remember. The killer let me live. I guess he couldn’t kill me, or something.
                After they died, I had to go live with my aunt and uncle and my cousin, a very fat and mean boy. None of them liked me very much. In fact, they never even gave me a room they hated me so much. They made me sleep under the stairs and hardly ever let me come out. I really should have called the police or something, have them arrested for child abuse maybe. I guess I forgot I could do that.
                Anyway, around my eleventh birthday, a lot of weird stuff started happening . I went to the zoo, and I made the glass in front of one of the snake pens disappear. Freaky, I know. My aunt and uncle were very cross about it. They’re always cross. Then we kept getting all of these letters from some weird magic school. At one point, they were flying out of the chimney.
                But the craziest part, was when the giant bearded guy came and found me, gave my lard-ass cousin a pig tail with some magic umbrella, and told me I was a wizard! Crazy, I know.
                At first I didn’t know what he was talking about, so I followed the strange, giant, bearded man, away from my aunt, uncle, and cousin, and into this pub, where he told me about the “World of Wizardry.” I still thought it was kind of a load of bollocks, until I followed the strange, giant, bearded man, who had been going on about wizardry for the last couple hours, and he made the wall behind the pub move back, and there was this magic shopping mall! I got a wand, and learned how to do magic! It was, as you might say in America, “hyphy.”
                Learning that I was a wizard was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was no longer a scared little boy under the stairs; I was famous, with a lot of awesome friends, a badass ginger girlfriend, and a purpose (to kill the guy who murdered my parents. He’s a pretty nasty bloke).
                I think my unique experiences can bring a fresh perspective to Salem State University. 

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