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Also, the Bishop’s
Singers Benefit Concert is going to be ABSOLUTELY AMAZING, and is Saturday
at 7:00! Be there, or be a terrible person!
Who stole the cookies
from the cookie jar?
By: Laurel Styner
An escaped cookie alights on a branch; free
at last.
SUN
BEARS ARE SO GREAT
By: Colin Garon (Sun bear Aficionado)
Sun bears
are the weirdest, but also the best, kind of bears. Here are some pictures of
sun bears, with a little commentary, to emphasize how darn cool they are.
This is a sun bear that has looked death in the
eye—and laughed. Just look at the wisdom and courage and devil-may-care
attitude in his eyes. And that TONGUE! That tongue makes Miley Cyrus weep. It’s
like a Fruit Roll-up, but with taste buds on it. There is no beating a Fruit
Roll-up with taste buds on it. Don’t even try.
This sun bear isn’t a model, the camera just
turned itself on. I swear. But just look at its majesty. You don’t find this
kind of effortless beauty every day. I’m pretty sure that Miss America 1993 was
a sun bear.
So,
students and faculty of the Bishop’s School for Boys and Girls and
Unfortunately No Sun Bears, start to appreciate sun bears. Because as you can
tell from just these two pictures alone, sun bears are the most perfect beasts
to walk this planet. They are the best. THE BEST.
Simple Bathroom Etiquette
By: Brandon Zhu (Bathroom Critic)
I use the bathroom a couple of times a day. Mainly for #1, but every
once in a while, a #2. And I have to admit, it is pretty nasty and really
annoying to walk into a stall and see urine sprayed all over the toilet seat and
leftover doodoo floating around in the bowl. I have to endure the gross
smell even after I flush and then I have to wipe off the toilet seat with very
thin and very absorbent toilet paper while praying that my precious skin will
not come into contact with someone else’s stale urine. On top of that, I have
to use multiple layers of toilet seat covers to ensure that no leftover urine
will seep through the first cover and onto my sweet bottom.
Okay guys, it should not be this hard for me to take a darn crap.
So, I beg all of you, middle schoolers, high schoolers (mainly guys, I don’t
know how the sanitary conditions are for the girls), and maybe even teachers,
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE aim when you decide to relieve your bladder in the
stalls. I have a rather simple solution for this. Unless ALL the urinals are
occupied, DON’T use the stalls, because apparently none of you
can aim (Note that DON’T is capitalized, bolded, italicized, and
underlined...) Here is a nice short list of things to do in the bathroom to
improve your’s and everyone else’s bathroom experience:
1.
If it’s a #1, use a urinal.
2.
If you make a peepee or a doodoo, remember
to flush.
3.
If you decide to not follow #1, and use
the stall for a #1, remember these magic words: If you tinkle when you
sprinkle, please be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.
4.
For those who like to stand more than a
foot away from the urinals for whatever reason, please take a step forward. No
one wants to step in your pee.
5.
The sinks are there for a reason. Please
use them (especially middle schoolers).
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