Sidebar
As I
Lay Writing This
It’s 3:45 am and I long for the days of
second semester
The Notorious D.F.W.1
Meet in Mr. Davis’ room2
during D day lunches3 to discuss David Foster Wallace’s
bicep-busting4, binding-defying5, 1,079-page masterpiece Infinite Jest6. We’ll be
meeting all year, making our way through the book a few dozen pages at a time,
so bring a wheelbarrow7 for the book and a helmet for your
head—safety starts with you.
Also
from David Foster Wallace
Two young fish are swimming along and they
go by an older fish who says to them, “How’s the water boys?” The two young
fish go on for a while before one of them turns to the other and goes, “What
the hell is water?”
Poetry
Quiz
“who were expelled from the
academies for crazy & publishing obscene odes on the windows of the skull,
who cowered in unshaven rooms
in underwear, burning their money in wastebaskets and listening to the Terror
through the wall”
(Hint: The real challenge here was finding two consecutive lines of the
poem that could be published here)
______________________________
1
Not
an airport.
2 Cummins 21.
3 First meeting
this Monday!
4 2.6 pounds.
5 2.2 inches
thick.
6 Pop quiz: Name
the title’s source.
7 Red, glazed with
rain water, white chickens, etc.
Appreciate for a
moment that even Mr. Davis’s sidebar submissions have footnotes.
Articles
First Month of High School
A Freshman’s Reflections
on Her Early Years
By
Samantha Schwimmer (DU Guest Writer)
1.
Sixth Graders are tiny! I’m sorry I even had to mention this as it is extremely
cliché however I felt it was necessary
2.
The middle school cliques do not dissolve the minute we reach high school
despite what teachers told us. In fact they intensify. I’m pretty sure people
are planning to steal the Matriculation Book and use it as the Class of 2017
Burn Book
3.
Free Periods are life
4.
High Schoolers are automatically expected to gain superpowers because somehow
we are supposed to juggle homework, sports, arts, clubs, and still have energy
5.
Caffeine
6.
Blast-Off was mostly twerking and grinding (while I stood awkwardly in the
casino area winning chips so I could get cheap plastic hats)
7.
People are already obsessed with formal… Some guys already have Plan Cs of who
they are going to ask
8.
You don’t have weekends
9.
I treasure my weekly 10 am dates with Hulu
10.
High School Lunch… the one place with longer lines than Disneyland and the DMV
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