Saturday, October 19, 2013

Issue 30 (2013-2014)

Issue 30 (October 7, 2013)

Sidebar
THEATAH!!!!
You Can’t Take It With You performs this Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Come see Conor Hayes play some mean vibrophone.

FOOTBALL!!!
The Kinghts shutdown Army-Navy last Friday with a 49-0 win.  Steve Hinshaw may have  caught one of those seven touchdowns, but he was only awarded the points for his celebration dance.

Government Shutdown
Apparantly, the government shutdown has left one man in charge of the U.S-Canada Border. The more you know.

How about Miley Cyrus?
Miley Cyrus was actually very funny on Saturday Night Live this weekend. If you haven’t seen the episode yet, I encourage you to do so.

Booooooo!
Halloween’s fast approaching so start finalizing your costumes!

Do you know what’s interesting?
I’m not sure, I was hoping you would know.

Lyrics Quiz #1
Watch out, Cupid stuck me with a sickness
Pull your little arrows out and let me live my life.

Lyrics Quiz #2
I could lift you up.
I could show you what you want to see
And take you where you want to be

Lyrics Quiz #3

So you met someone and now you know how it feels.

Articles

Don Jon Review
By: Greg Feiner (DU Movie Guy)

Joseph Gordon-Levitt is the man. In the last five years, he’s starred in (500) Days of Summer, Inception, The Dark Knight Rises, and Lincoln, some of the biggest hits of the young millenium. Now, he wants to be a director. His directorial debut, Don Jon, which he also wrote, is a romantic comedy about an eccentric Italian-American, New Jerseyan porn addict named Jon, and his struggle to find true love. Given Gordon-Levitt’s track record, the ambitious premise, and Scarlett Johansson, it seemed worth a review.
                The movie is actually quite funny in the beginning. Between Jon’s hysterical church confessions (“Since last Sunday, I had sex with two girls out of wedlock and masturbated 37 times…”), and his conversations with his buddies at the nightclub where he works, the movie is funny in that it presents you with something that you can’t believe you’re hearing and seeing, like Clerks.
                Gordon-Levitt thrives as an actor under his own direction, playing Jon’s strange problem as a serious one, grounding his odd story in reality. His script is flawed, but has some interesting commentary on technology retarding real human connection and on modern relationships in general.
                However, there were three very large reasons why I didn’t like this movie.  Firstly, after the very funny beginning half, the story fizzles. It falls into documenting Jon’s daily routine and stops moving forward after Julianne Moore’s character starts becoming a major character, brilliant as she is.
Secondly, and more importantly, there is too much sex in this movie. I understand that there should be a fair amount of sex in a movie about porn and sex, and if it helps tell the story then it should be in the movie. But there is just so much graphic and gratuitous sex throughout, that I started wondering if I should leave and give the actors some privacy. It gets to a point where the sex fails to serve a purpose.
This is part of my biggest problem is with the movie: this subtle-as-a-neon-pile-of-bricks-falling-from-the-sky directorial style of Joseph Gordon-Levitt. His story is filled with so much untapped humor that gets lost in all of the swearing and ridiculous montages, leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination.
Some might say that the movie was rough but brimming with potential. Some might say that the types of people depicted in the movie would swear just as much as they do. Some might say that a story about sex needs a lot of sex. If that’s true, then maybe Don Jon was good for what it was. I just didn’t like what it was.
50/100

Passive Philanthropy
By: Nessa Garcia (DU Philosopher)

            Half asleep, I eat a cereal bar on the bus. It’s a usual weekday morning where I’m trying to listen to music, finish my remaining homework, and as I mentioned, nourish myself all at once and in 25 minutes or less. I normally eat breakfast at home, but sometimes a girl’s just too lazy to make eggs before 6 a.m. Anyway, after having my last bite of the organic-and-therefore-superior cereal bar, I take a moment to read the plastic wrapping.
                “DO MORE: 1% of EnviroKidz© sales go to help the planet, so you can help just by eating! Look inside for more details.”
                Immediately, I am filled with the false sense that I have done something good. More specifically, it says that I am helping save pandas from extinction. I make a mental note to include this on my college app. Go me!!!
                However, after approximately 6.5 seconds of contemplation, I realize that this is utter BS.
Am I helping “just by eating?” Really? Am I really changing the way our society treats the environment by eating this cereal bar? My only intention of eating this bar was to feed myself and prevent annoying stomach growls in the first class; eating this bar was completely for my own sake. Do you actually mean to say I’m helping your profits increase? That sounds about right.
                In as much disgust as I can manage that early in the morning, I crumple the cereal bar wrapper in my hand. I am not fooled by your marketing scheme, EnviroKidz©.
                Sadly, though, EnviroKidz© is not the only company that does this sort of thing. For instance, a lot of clothing companies will market their apparel as supportive of fighting Breast Cancer. However, after a little research, did you find that the profit is not being donated anywhere? Did the company just group all of their pink-colored clothes together in order to sell more? The unfortunate answer for many companies is yes, and unwittingly, many of us become victims of passive philanthropy. Know if something is actually being done—otherwise, you’re just eating a cereal bar.

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