Sidebar
Happy
Halloween!
Go politely rob some people. Of candy.
Delivery
If you’d like to see the DU around as much
as you did yesterday, why not help deliver it? Find Greg, Dan, Colin, or Matt
if you’re interested.
Blog
If the whole “putting the DU up around
school” thing doesn’t work, then check it out online at
thedailyurinal.blogspot.com.
Comic
Strip
I’ve heard through the grapevine that some
people would like to see a comic strip in the DU. I don’t know if our staff
would do that, but if you submit comics of your own, we may submit them if
they're funny and not offensive.
PDG
The PDG concert, As We Forgive Those… will
be performing today, Friday, and Saturday at 5:30 and 7:00 each day. Come watch
Adi Chang bust a move.
Quiz
Winners
Mr. Goss and Gloriana got The Beatles’
“Come Together,” Sajan got The White Stripes’ “Dead Leaves and Dirty Ground,”
and Mr. Davis got both of them right. Also, Dr. Martell aced the literature
quiz. It was The Stranger by Camus.
Lyrics
Quiz
There are children throwing snowballs
Instead of throwing heads
They’re busy building toys
And absolutely no one’s dead
Writing
Prompt
In six words, desribe your perfect
Halloween.
Articles
On the Topic of Yoga Pants
By:
Nessa Garcia (Fan of Warm Legs)
In
a recent article by Chris Halter, the idea that yoga pants should become part
of the Girls' uniform was suggested...
Just kidding, yoga pants are great. However, I
do disagree with one salient point in the article: yoga pants are NOT the most
comfortable type of pants. Sweatpants are. Oh Chris, how could you be so
ignorant?
If I could, I would wear
sweatpants every single day. Unfortunately, I am bounded by the oppressive
Bishop's system that keeps me looking tidy and uniform (pun pun pun) with
everyone else. As I write this article outside the library, multiple chilly
breezes strike at my unprotected legs. All I want is the cotton insulation of
sweatpants, the freedom of loose clothing--none of which yoga pants provide.
Like I said, I truly appreciate
yoga pants. But seeing that they are most optimal for, well, yoga, and the
amount of times that I've attended a yoga class has been, well, never (minor
exception: 8th grade P.E.), yoga pants just don't make the cut. Obviously, yoga
pants have become part of everyday wear for females, even if they don't
participate in the activity. But still, if we were to hypothetically
revolutionize the Bishop's uniform, why not opt for the more "relaxing"
choice? Imagine:
-Dress day pants for boys would
be traded in for gray sweatpants--Oh wait, Connor McCroskey has already
introduced this.
-Due to how comfortable the new
khaki-colored (there would have to be compromise somewhere) sweatpants are, the
administration decides to create a new schedule that incorporates in a daily
nap time. In fact, there might be a whole culture already dedicated to this
idea, but I don't know.
-Classes such as AP Sleep and
Advanced Netflix-Watching would be offered. Colleges suddenly increase their
acceptances of Bishop's students due to how revolutionary these courses are.
"Real Success" is finally defined
Things To Do Because It’s Fall
By: Matthew Kerr (Lover of
Seasons)
•Watch
that movie Halloweentown. Or, because
it’s only on Disney Channel at the beginning and end of October, illegally
stream it and then sue Disney for being jerks. Lose the lawsuit and get your
house taken away.
•Jump
into a pile of leaves in an attempt to be spontaneous. Accidentally break your
leg while jumping and then go to the emergency room. Have your neighbors
forever hate you for messing up their nicely raked pile of leaves.
•It’s
sweater weather. That means you can only wear sweaters.
Never anything else. Taking a shower? Too bad, wear a sweater. Running a
marathon? Wear a sweater. Going to your grandmother’s funeral? Sweater. Welcome
to the real world, punk.
•Go
to a Halloween store. Look for a female costume that isn’t oversexualized. Die
of starvation after searching for days without food.
•Light
a scented candle. Light twenty scented candles. Make your house smell like
vanilla. Make your house smell too much like vanilla. The candles have messed
with your mind and state of health. I’m sorry. You have three months to live.
•Curl
up in a soft blanket with somebody and listen to some indie autumn music like
“The Lumineers” and “The Head and The Heart.” Get offended when they tell you
they hate those bands. Suffocate them with the soft blanket.
AND
OF COURSE, FALL MEANS PUMPKIN!
HERE
ARE SOME PUMPKIN RELATED THINGS:
•Drink
a pumpkin spice latte. To add to the spice, put a Trinidad Scorpion Butch
pepper in your drink. Trust me, it makes your beverage much more flavorful. 10
out of 10 nutritionists recommend.
•Order
a pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks. Wait for the employee to spell your name
slightly wrong on your cup. Take a picture of the drink with your misspelled
name and post it to Instagram. Wait fifteen minutes before I show up at your
house with nothing but a stale baguette to beat the heck out of you with.
•Buy
a pumpkin and dress it in a little sweater. Get attached, name her Jessa. Get
angry at Jessa when she gets a lip piercing and runs away to live with her
26-year-old boyfriend. Jessa rots in two weeks and you mourn.
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