Sidebar
While
we’re talking about weirdness…
An American man was found unconscious in a
California motel with no memory of himself and speaking only Swedish four
months ago. As soon as he fully
understood his bizarre situation, the theme music of Breaking Bad started playing.
RIP
Seamus Heaney
Irish Poet Seamus Heaney passed away last
Friday.
SPORTZ!!!
The football team had a 26-20 win over
Clairemont last Friday. Come out next week to see them play Tijuana’s Prep Federale.
There
is no “H” in Jon
Jon Stewart returns to The Daily Show
tonight, at long last unseating John
Oliver, the British despot who has reigned over the show for the past summer.
America.
Fifty
Shades of Anarchy?
Sons of Anarchy star Charlie Hunnam
got the lead in the movie version of Fifty
Shades of Gray. He said that he’s thrilled to be a part of the highest
budgeted porn ever (another one for Matt’s list).
Friday’s
Lyrics Quiz
Chad Raser, Ryan Michalko, and Jack Piegza all
got the lyrics quiz on Friday. It was "Love Sosa" by Chief Keef. They
all love Sosa.
Lyrics
Quiz
Adjectives on the typewriter, he moves his
words like a prized fighter. The frenzied pace of the mind inside the cell.
Articles
A Eulogy for Ortega’s
By Ryan Hastings (Hungry and Sad)
It’s been a rough
weekend. I’ll admit it. I cried myself to sleep on Saturday thinking
about you. My heart is broken. Your sudden disappearance has touched us all,
Ortega’s. Where will hungry Bishop’s
students go for a dependable burrito now?
Where else will I always know that an Asada Fry Burrito and a medium
horchata cost $7.04 (at least until you pulled another price change, you
trickster)?
Where else will I go to
devour multiple burritos after a long day of suffering? Ortega’s, you who gave food poisoning to
students on multiple occasions, you who’s Yelp profile has a review stating
that someone once found a cockroach in their rolled taco, remained a Bishop’s
staple through thick and thin.
I
know you had your haters, people who didn’t appreciate you for what you were,
your history and authenticity. But you
also had your devoted followers, people like me who would visit you at least
every other week. Simplicity was your
forte, with a menu consisting of pieces of construction
paper taped to the wall. It doesn’t get
much classier than that folks. Ortega’s,
you were a rock that helped me get through some tough times, like rehearsals
until 6:00, practices until 7:00. You
were a place to hang after school, a place to gaze out the window at passing
tourists and mock them. You made
multiple people puke during practice, the demise of athletes who took the risk
of a pre-game burrito. Ne’er was there a
better place for a man to stop and replenish his depleted energy stores on the
great plains of La Jolla.
However,
life will have to go on without you. I
will seek out other watering holes; I will be forced to settle for Pizza on
Pearl and Wahoo’s. My only regret is
that I did not visit you this year before you left. Just know: there will always be a special
place in my stomach for you, Ortega’s Place.
Weirdest World Records
By Matthew Gleeson (New
Guy)
While many world records are admirable feats
displaying courage, athleticism, and intellect, others are just plain weird.
Here is a list of some of the wackiest and intriguing world records in the
books.
1. The World’s Longest Wedding
Dress Train
The
Guinness World record for the longest wedding dress train was achieved in
Bucharest on March 20, 2012. The 2,750 meter (9022 ft) long broke the previous
record of 2,488 meters. The dress was made of 4,700 meters of material, used
1,857 needles, and took 100 days to make
2. The World’s Shortest Man
& Woman
Chandra Bahadur Dangi (that’s a mouthful), the world’s
shortest man, is a 72 year-old citizen of Nepal. He is 1 foot, 9.5 inches tall.
The world’s shortest woman, Jyoti Amge, is not much taller, at 2 feet, 0.7
inches tall. The 18 year-old is from Nagpur, India, and has a form of dwarfism
called Achondroplasia which keeps her from growing any taller than her current
height. According to the Guinness World Records Website, she has to have
clothes and jewelry specially made to accommodate her size. She sleeps in a
tiny bed and uses special plates and cutlery to eat.
3. The World’s Tallest Mohawk
The
tallest mohawk measures 44.68 in(3 feet, 8.68 in), and belongs to 40 year-old
Kazuhiro Watanabe of Japan. Watanabe has been growing the hair for 15 years,
and says that it takes stylists two hours, one can of gel, and three cans of
hairspray to make it stand upright. He says he wanted to grow the mohawk to
rebel against the conformity of Japanese society.
4. Most Spoons on a Human Body
This
one probably wins the weirdness award. Etibar Elchyev, a 39-year-old
kick-boxing trainer from Georgia, managed to ‘magnetize’ 50 spoons around his
neck and chest in December 2011. Elchev also performed a stunt in which he
lifted a 30 lb car hood with a 202 lb man sitting on it by ‘magnetizing’ it to
his chest. While no one is quite sure what causes this ‘magnetism’, its source
is believed to be due to an illness, which causes the skin to emit an unusually
sticky, and in Elchev’s case, extraordinarily sticky oil.
5. The Largest Backwards Walk
1,039
people walked around backwards on June 10, 2012 to set the record for the
"largest backwards walk." The walk took place in Shanghai and was
organized by Infinitus Company Ltd.
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