Saturday, October 19, 2013

Issue 37 (2013-2014)

Issue 37 (October 16, 2013)

Sidebar
Achievement Unlocked: Protect this House...
Congrats to the field hockey, water polo, and volleyball teams who all won their home games last night!

Get Ready
For Water Polo's Bish cup this Thursday.

Only Three More Days
Until quarter break. That's right we actually get breaks at Bishop's. Of course those breaks still have homework assigned over them., and the assignments are in fact longer because teachers know you have an extra four hours to put in now. But forget about that. Enjoy the break!

Plz respond guyz
Srsly guyz plz submit articls.

Numer of the Day: π
π is an infinite, non-repeating and (likely) normal decimal. This means that every permutation of numbers pops up in it eventually. When converted to ASCII text, it contains the story of your life, from the first time you see sunlight, to the last time you see anything. It contains the exact time you die. It contains the stories of every human and living creature to exist and has nice little descriptions of the inanimate objects too. It contains a string of 1's and 0's that code for a super high resolution embarassing photo of you at the Christmas party. Every thought ever thunk or that will ever be thought of appears in π. Who says math isn't one of the humanities?

Lyrics Quiz:
These streets have too many names for me
I'm used to Glenfield Road and spending my time down in Orchy,
I'll get used to this eventually,

I know, I know

Articles

Shut Down
By: Samantha Schwimmer (DU Guest Writer)

Attention all Bishop’s students, due to an unfortunate disagreement between our ASB we regretfully must shut down our entire student government. This conflict began at a recent ASB meeting where various members of the Middle School ASBC were attempting to gain funding for their upcoming middle school fall dance.

“We feel as though our fellow students are being robbed the opportunity to eat in EBS much like the Who’s in Whoville were robbed Christmas in Dr. Seuss’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” one member of ASB stated.

As a result of this, all of Bishop’s will be closed except for the essential programs:

-Most Academic Classes (all tests and quizzes must be canceled due to this as we can no longer afford paper)

-Administration

-On-Campus Security

-The Nurse’s Office

However, Bishop's will see these following programs be cut until further notice:

-Lunch Service

-Bus Services

-Sports Games and Practices(on and off campus)

-Performing and Visual Arts programs

-Bish Bowl, Formal, Middle School Dances, Prom

-Clubs

-The Library

-The Bookstore

The ASB apologizes for any inconveniences this may cause and are hoping to reopen the government as soon as possible.

Shave-oritism
By Matt Healey (DU Royalty)

Imagine this: Betty Bishops is walking down the hall and a teacher approaches her. The teacher gets closer and examines her legs. He tells Betty that she needs to shave and that her fuzzy legs just earned her a Uniform Violation. Betty runs away crying.

This situation is obviously wrong, and borderline inappropriate. It clearly will damage the girl’s self-esteem and her idea of what an acceptable body image is. I don’t think any Bishop’s teacher would condone giving a UV for hairy legs.

Therefore, why is it acceptable that Bobby Bishops can get a Uniform Violation for his facial hair? Plenty of people say that beards are gross or unprofessional. Well the same can be said about women’s leg hair. Plus, if a girl wants to conceal her unshaven legs, she can wear tights or khakis. Guys have no such option to get away with their facial hair.

It’s definitely just as hard, if not harder for a guy to shave his neck, chin, jaw and ‘stache as it is for a girl to shave her legs between the bottom of her skirt and the top of her socks.

So why does Bishop’s promote spending an extra fifteen minutes in the morning on appearances. I thought we were here to learn, not look pretty. And what looks more learned and philosophical than a student gazing out the window while stroking his beard, pondering life’s existential mysteries, like how the senior lunch line can be longer than the normal lunch line?

Too long have men been oppressed and valued only for their pretty unshaven faces. I’m standing up for all mankind. 

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