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Happy
Tuesday!
Fun Fact: Tuesday is the second day of the
week if your week starts on Monday!
You
Could Have At Least Tried to Take It With You
The play may be over, but that doesn’t
mean the jokes are going to stop.
BISHCUPS!!!!
Field Hockey’s BishCup is TODAY!!! And
Water Polo’s is on THURSDAY!!! Double excitement!
Writing
Prompt of the Day
Write your own resume. Not a job resume or
an acting resume: a resume of all your accomplishments that don’t fit anywhere
else.
Lyrics
Quiz
The horn on the bus goes
Beep beep beep
Beep beep beep
Beep beep beep
The horn on the bus goes
Beep beep beep
All through the town
Word
of the Day
Catharsis
Number
of the Day
192
Please
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Haiku
of the Day
Leaves of deep rich green
Branches, brittle, reaching up
CADDY SMELLED LIKE TREES
(The Sound and the Fury, anyone?)
Articles
The Best Resume Ever
By: Matt
Kerr (Highly Qualified)
The other day, I had to create a résumé
for my acting workshop class. After realizing how pathetic my one high school
show and zero outside training seemed on paper, I decided to revise. Here’s my
newly updated résumé, AKA the most impressive one to ever exist.
NAME:
Matthew Kerr
Height:
6’2”: His tall stature gives him the ability to provide awesome and good
smelling hugs that leave people aching for more and shedding tears for at least
five hours.
Eyes:
Brown: These eyes once brought an orphan’s parents back to life. That orphan is
now the president of the United States, Barack Obama.
Hair:
Brown: Gets it styled with child celebrities like Elle Fanning and the kid from
“Nanny McPhee.” They gossip about Amanda Bynes a lot.
SKILLS:
•Can
juggle both responsibilities and sticks of fire
•Can
recite poetry while helping the elderly
•Can
do four cartwheels
•Can
talk to God
ACHIEVEMENTS:
•Winner
of fifteen and a half Academy Awards®: Beat Daniel Day-Lewis eleven of those
fifteen and-a-half times.
•At
age seven, he released a debut album titled “Hope is a Teardrop Away.” It went
platinum within an hour.
•Won
the Olympics and then did a Wheaties commercial. It was super sick.
ROLES
IN THEATRE
ROLE PRODUCTION
All of them Book of Mormon and ten other
Broadway shows
Knight
#1 Once Upon a Mattress
“Hello?
Harvard University? Oh yes, of course I have time to talk.”
FIN
Lil Swag Does a Whoopsie: A Bedtime Story
By: Colin Garon (Shel Goldstein)
Lil
Swag wasn’t very big. In fact, he was very little. But Lil Swag was the fastest
firetruck around. Every morning, he would zoom out of the firehouse and fight
fires all day.
After
a long day of firefighting and lifesaving, Lil Swag liked to go out on the town
and have a fun time. But Lil Swag didn’t party responsibly. Whoopsie! Lil Swag
was a bad little fire engine and got hooked on high-octane gasoline and black
tar diesel fuel.
One
night, Lil Swag got back to the firehouse very very late. He didn’t get much
sleep at all! The next morning, there was a big, big fire in the city. But Lil
Swag was too tired to fight the fire. Whoopsie! Lil Swag watched the entire
city burn to ashes.
Lil
Swag was very sad that he had let his city burn. He decided to take a break
from firefighting in order to get in touch with his inner soul. So he bought a
one-way plane ticket to Europe. But Lil Swag forgot that the fact that he was a
sentient fire truck didn’t alter his size relative to other vehicles. Whoopsie!
Lil Swag couldn’t fit into the airplane.
Lil
Swag decided that it was time to turn his life around. He quit hard fuels cold
truckey and began to earn back his sleep deficit. Then he returned to Trucknell
University and earned a degree in 18th Century Slavic Fire Truck
Folklore and Cuisine. Whoopsie! Lil Swag’s degree turned out to be pretty much
useless.
After a long
and discouraging job search, Lil Swag finally found a job at Startrucks.With
his Startrucks employment, Lil Swag found a source of stability in a
whoopsie-filled life. But there were many more whoopsies to come!
To be
continued... (if Colin receives even the slightest bit of praise for this)
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