Saturday, October 19, 2013

Issue 8 (2013-2014)

Issue 8 (August 30, 2013)

Sidebar
Middle School Pool Party!
Everybody thank the middle schoolers for hosting an all-school pool party today. Remember to allow seniors to the front of the snack lines.

FOOTBALL
TAILGATE. LA JOLLA HIGH. SPORTS. FOOTBALLS. MEN. ANGRY CHAD RASER. SPORTS. GET PUMPED. GET WEIRD. FOOTBALL. ALL ABOUT THAT DOUBLE U. WORD.

Facebook Name Changes
As the college season rolls around again, seniors are sticking to custom and changing their names on Facebook. Here are our favorites:
1. Sunset Club Van (guess who?)
2. Noff Hicks (just kidding, that’s his actual name)
3. Hannah Montana (Hannah James, complete with photoshopped pic)
4. Sauce Webb (Charlotte would have been better)
5. Whipple Hill Martinez (Take your frustrations out on Gabe)
6. Claire Bear (with the gold hair)
7. Moniquwa Sammon (Monika getting in touch with her culture)

Aesop Rock Quote
He’s technically a rapper, but more of a genius and a poet. And he deserves more credit. So we’re going to have quotes from him from time to time. Youtube him if you’re curious…

“I told this cat the earth was flat, he walked ‘til his beard grew
Long enough to strangle himself for being stupid.”

TEBOW
Good ol’ Timmy threw a touchdown pass yesterday. And no, it was not to the other team. But yes, it was in the last 10 seconds of a preaseason game.

Lyrics Quiz
Hit him with that cobra
Now that boy slumped over

They do it all for Sosa

Articles
Review of The World’s End
By: Greg Feiner (The Movie Guy)

Is anybody tired of the end of the world? I didn’t think so. Why else would Seth Rogen’s This Is the End, the zombie comedy (oh wait...) World War Z, and Pacific Rim have made such killings at the box office this summer? In fact, over thirty doomsday films have been made already in this young decade. But it seems we’re not done milking the apocalypse cow just yet. Though it’s been out in the UK for some time, the final installment of the Cornetto Trilogy (the first two being Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz), The World’s End, has finally come stateside. At least it doesn’t have zombies, right?
The basic premise of the film is that a guy who peaked in high school and is still living in his glory days (Simon Pegg) reunites with his four best friends from back in the day (Nick Frost, Martin Freeman, Paddy Considine, and Eddie Marsan) to go back to their hometown to one-up their legendary pub crawl 20 years earlier. But once they arrive, they soon discover that the town has been taken over by alien robots that want to enslave humanity!
Director Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World) exhibits a unique visual style that doesn’t take kindly to subtlety. For instance, towards the film’s beginning, Simon Pegg’s character spews forth a pun that would make Colin Garon’s head explode. Subsequently, we see the I-can’t-believe-you-just-said-that look on each of his four friends’ faces for about 3 seconds each, drawing as much humor as possible from such an over-the-top ridiculous line. This sledgehammer humor is present throughout The World’s End in the form of massive explosions, extremely complicated fight sequences, giant mobs of angry robots, and a ridiculous premise, all of which give the film ironic appeal, but not so much as to come off as pretentious.
The script, however, co-written by Wright and Pegg, is much gentler, packed full of quick, witty dialogue with a couple of very quotable lines, making for a few large laughs and constant chuckling throughout. It even manages to make a few insights on maturity, friendship, and what it means to be human, in between laughs. This wonderful script is brought to life by the “five musketeers” (Pegg, Frost, etc.), whose group scenes rival all but a select few such as those in Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction in terms of chemistry and timing.
Between Wright’s fast paced, comic-book visual style, the smart, nuanced script, and electric performances by the film’s five stars (appropriate), The World’s End is a cool, smart, fun, and exciting comedy that will make you laugh while respecting your intelligence. A very rare combination indeed.
100/100

A Letter to the Unidentified Puddle of Liquid Outside the Library

     Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re “just a gross puddle of vomit” to the left of the entrance to the library. You are so much more than that.
     Are you spoiled milk? A particularly viscous brew of coffee? A melted statue constructed of chocolate? Soy nut butter? No. You are whoever you say you are.
     You are who you believe yourself to be. You are who you say you are. The only way you should identify is how you want to. Not what other people call you when they point you out to your friends to make a joke, or what the people mopping you up mumble to keep from gagging. Don’t accept any labels from kids not noticing you’re there and then freaking out when they almost step in you.
     Reach deep inside yourself (which shouldn’t be too hard since you’re kind of shallow) and figure out just what you are exactly. Take your time (but not before period 3, that’s my free and I like to spend it in the library so I’d prefer you not be there) to decide how you want to live your life. Are you an actor? A mathematician? A pottery enthusiast? A new feature of Whipple Hill?
     You may only extend a couple of feet just out of the way of the library doors, but you can go so far. You don’t have to sit there and oxidize and smell horrible and scare sixth graders walking into the library for the first time. You don’t have to hide behind the library columns from Cummins.
     And Bishop’s, don’t focus on who brought this pool of solidifying liquid here. Remember, you are not where you came from, but where you are going. Hopefully for this puddle, that place is far away from me.

Best,
Adela Pfaff, WebMD


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