Saturday, October 19, 2013

Issue 29 (2013-2014)

Issue 29 (October 4, 2013)

Sidebar
TGIF
Thank Gustavo It’s Fring. (I can’t let go.) [I’m having withdrawls.] {Help.}

Some Quotes to Fill Up Space and (Maybe) Inspire or Entertain You
“Because no battle is ever won he said. They are not even fought. The field only reveals to man his own folly and despair, and victory is an illusion of philosophers and fools.”
- William Faulkner

“Being funny should be an incidental byproduct of trying to get to something truthful, not a destination in itself.” 
- Alain de Botton

“Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which, of course, in German means a whale’s vagina.”
- Ron Burgundy

Later Nado
Yesterday, the WoPo team, led by Dick Daly and the boys, traveled cross town to their rivals, CoroNERDo. An hour later, they finished defecating on Nado, emerging victorious over those peasant peninsulites. Be sure to congratulate any guys walking around campus flexing and carrying multiple cartons of milk.

You Know What Really Grinds My Gears…
When it’s your birthday and someone brings you balloons and you tie those balloons to your backpack and walk around with those ballooons all day. There is no need to advertise your birthday to the world in the hope that the people who didn’t know that it was your birthday (and consequently don’t care about you) will say those two special words to you.

TENNIS

Yesterday, Girl’s Varsity Tennis out-tennised La Jolla Country Day on a country day in La Jolla. Shouts out to Ali and Ari G, Tugboat Sheila, Kelly Shaf-dog, and the rest of the crew.

Articles

Technology Strikes
By: Emily Gao

With all the benefits that the digital age has brought upon, it’s easy to overlook the detrimental aspects.  While technology has become an antidote to boredom and distance, it is also silently hurting our relationships.
            My problem? People are constantly checking their phones. This sick obsession with our cell phones needs to stop. What business do you have to attend to right this instant? Is Barack calling you about the government shutdown? I didn’t think so. Phone checking can easily be taken as a rude gesture. When I make plans with a friend to hang out, I expect them to actually hang out with me. Not be on their phones. You came to talk and be with me right? What is this. Instagram/Facebook notifications/Candy Crush is not more important than me.
            Technology is truly separating us. I believe that laptops and keyboards have trapped us into our own little realms and have successfully desensitized us to what goes on in real life.  It has become the space bar that adds distance in our everyday lives. IPhones also add an emphasis on ourselves. What do selfies, Facebook profile pages and tumblrs have in common? They all act like self-dedicated shrines.
            Next time you’re out with friends, trying this fun little game: Place phones in the center of the restaurant table. Whoever checks their phone first loses! This chump has to pay for the meal or buy dessert.

Effects of the Infamous Government Shutdown (17th Edition)
-Leo Li

1) Health and Human Services: The Department will be “unable to support the annual seasonal influenza program, outbreak detection and linking across state boundaries using genetic and molecular analysis, continuous updating of disease treatment and prevention recommendations.”

2) KKK Activities (Yes, that KKK):  On Tuesday a KKK Rally at Gettysburg National Park was canceled, because government shutdown closed the Park, and others, across the country.

3) Food: The FDA announced on Tuesday that normal services of food inspection, enforcement, etc. will cut back, and at times stop completely.

4) Your Privacy: If you try to go on nasa.gov, you’ll be notified that NASA has gone what Anonymous has called “tango down.” But don’t worry; if you drop an ‘a’ from ‘nasa,’ nsa.gov is still up and operational.

5) The Department of Agriculture: is DOWN. For its mysterious and Bond-like backup plan, head over to http://www.whitehouse.gov/omb/contingency-plans to learn more on how departments you don’t care about are dealing with the shutdown.

6) Congress: They still get paid whatever sum they get paid ($174,000).

7) The Prez: His golf course stays open. Camp David too. 

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